October.

Feels like time just flies by. There is really not enough time in the day to get everything done. We've had a very busy October, but welcome all the ups and downs in life.

Julian had his last flag football game on October 17th. It was so great that my parents made it down to see him play before the season was over. Julian was so happy that he had them there to watch.. He kept asking them if he did a good job. He always does a good job to us. I don't know if Julian ever got into the actual game of football, but he got out there and tried his best every time. He loved the social interaction with the other kids. Julian definitely has the gift of talk and friendship. He will never be lonely because he has a great talent for making friends. He is so socialable and friendly, and loves to please his mommy( hopefully he will continue that for a long time) Alex and Lilly loved having my parents here also. They are funny. It takes a little while for them to warm up to everyone but then they quickly remember.

October 19: The babies had their evaluation for early intervention through the state to receive additional services. They said they looked great, but did qualify for services because they are delayed with their speech. It's very hard to have your children critiqued and to feel like they aren't doing what they should be doing. Considering they arrived 8 weeks early and were VERY small and sick, I think we are doing pretty good. They are also twins which typically are a little slower to talk. They have no problem understanding, just have difficulty in expressing their speech to me.

Then on the 20th, I was very reluctant but went to Charleston with Chris on a business trip. We were very lucky that his mom and dad came to watch the kids so we could take this much needed time away. It was very hard leaving the babies. It felt very strange and unnatural leaving them. But Chris and I had a good time away and it was great coming home to them. You would have thought our 55 hrs away was much longer. The babies and Julian did much better than I expected and Mary and Tom survived, so it was a good thing all around. Having 3 children in hard finding someone willing to watch them, but we are blessed to have wonderful parents that will take on my kids so that Chris and I can have a break every once in awhile.

Lilly update:

Her bloodwork came back from seeing the immunologist and it wnl for her age, so she suggested we just continue to monitor in a year to make sure values increase with age. (one problem averted). We had our f/u with the GI doctor today and her weight was great from the last visit. She weighed 19 lbs 11 oz. the doctor was very impressed but have to say it was just the cream thats in her bottle. It gives her so many extra calories. She still doesn't eat very much quantity, and I really believe she takes forever for food to empty her stomach. She did want to do an endoscope to see the stomach and esophagus to see if there is something that causes her stomach to have such a delayed emptying. One more test, but hopefully we will get some results from that or some medicine that will help. Her saga continues , but she looks great and has such a vibrant personality. She is so funny and loving. Her size defiantly doesn't stop her. She can really take care of herself.

Alex:

Had an appt with a ENT: 5 ear infections since June= tubes. I hate that he will have to have surgery, but every time he gets an ear infection, he hurts so bad. Hopefully, he will feel better and not get so many infections. That is scheduled for November 18, so pray that goes well for both Alex and Mommy. I tend to be a wreck whenever things go wrong for my kids. It's funny, because being a nurse, I'm great for other people's problems but its harder to deal with my family.

Julian is doing great. he got a special treat this week and got to go to Canada with Chris to see his best friend from when we lived there. Chris had a business trip and it worked out where Julian could go with him and spend the night with our friends. We've been trying to find time to get him back since we've left and this was the first opportunity that really worked. We felt bad that we left suddenly and never went back for him to say goodbye to anyone. He had a great time, and we love that we could do that for him. We appreciate Joanna for letting him come and working that out with her busy schedule. Hopefully we can continue to get them together. They were great friends when we were there and it will be interesting to see if that continues.

Pictures to come

Pumpkin Patch

The kids looking at the chickens.
Chris thinking, "do I really have to carry this funny looking Pumpkin"
Julian found the white pumpkin he had been wanting.
Me and my babies.
Trying to get all 3 looking at the same time is next to impossible.

They had a barn full of corn that they treated like a sand box. All the kids loved it and we took plenty of it home with us in our shoes.

chris helping the babies feed the goats
My animal lover was loving it

She's probably telling the goat what to do. She's little and fiesty
She's going to be my little gymnast. She can already hand from the bars by her self and swing. She loves it, she's my little monkey.







Last weekend Chris and I took all the kids to a local pumpkin patch. It was a beautiful fall day. It was sunny and warm and a great day to get everyone outside. The babies are following in Julian's footsteps with a love of animals, so they loved seeing the goats, chickens, and horses. Lilly is a child with no fear. She marches right up to them and almost gives them kisses. Alex is my cautions one. He is very clingy and attached to me and Chris. He did get down some and enjoy everything though. We then took a hay ride out to the pumpkin fields and so we could pick our own pumpkins off the vines. Of course, Julian didn't want the standard big, orange pumpkin. He was looking for a white pumpkin. Whatever Julian wants, Julian gets. He searched for the right one and then chris got it off the vine for him. It was a great day. I love it when we are able to get out as a family and enjoy each other's company.

Favorite part of the day

Chris took this picture the other morning and I just wanted to put it on here even though it's not looking my best. This is absolutely my favorite part of the day. I love waking up in the morning and Julian comes to get in the bed with me, Lilly is usually already there sleeping. Once Alex hears noise upstairs (he's usually down with Chris playing- my early birds), he darts up to join us. I love having all 3 of my babies in the bed with me. It's our time to be together before the crazy days begin. Everyone is happy and I can just take it all in. I love seeing their smiles in the morning, it starts my day off on a good foot. This is why I longed to have children. This is what my life is all about. I love them so much.

Immunity

Last Thursday Chris and I took Lilly to her appt with the pediatric immunologist. (Another specialist to add to our List). She was very nice, and knowledgeable. She was very thorough and tried to get a handle on Lilly's history. The main reason why we were sent to her was the concern with her reaction with her last ear infection and taking a course of antibiotics. The severe thrush was a big concern to our pediatricians. One's immune system shouldn't become so depressed with one course of antibiotics to allow the thrush to overcome your body. We are going to run a battery of blood work to look at her blood counts. I have to admit that some of the information she was giving us was very complex. I'm glad I have a masters degree in nursing sometimes so that I have a better grasp on what to ask and understand how to better take care of my children. We also did some allergy testing while we were there to see if there was an allergy component that would be contributing to Lilly's reflux. Luckily, we ruled out any allergies. Check that off the list of potential diagnoses. Now, we just have to go have Lilly's blood drawn this week. Not looking forward to that, but it will be wonderful to be able to mark that off our list as a potential problem as well. The doctor didn't think we had anything severe to worry about since she has not had any illnesses that have required hospitalization, and she has tolerated her "live vaccines" without any problems. I've gone back and forth thinking the worst to thinking this still isn't the problem. I still believe that Lilly's reflux is our primary problem and she hasn't gotten the relief she needs to feel like eating. I also think food empties her stomach very slow and causes her not to want to eat as frequent as she should. I feel like our saga is going to continue but hopefully we are one step to helping her.

We also had our 18 month check ups recently. A little recap:

Alex weighed 25 lbs and was 32 inches tall. This put him in the 50% for both weight and height. (Julian was never this big as this age). He is so thick and feels solid. He is definately more of a Stanford body than a Colquitt.

Lilly weighed 18 lb 9 oz- not on the chart for the weight, actually this has fallen further off the curve than she had been doing. She was 30 inches tall, which was actually in the 20% for a full term baby. At least one thing is improving. Maybe she is going to be tall and thin.

I will post when we hear about the bloodwork. I pray she doesn't hurt too bad and it's quick. My poor baby.

Julian also continues to have his sunday football games. It has been a great way for Julian and I to meet people. This has been one of the first times since we moved here that we have met people that have been friendly. Julian has been doing a great job getting out of his box to try something new. He loves to be out socializing and I think he has actually learned something along the way. We were lucky to have had Aunt Anne come visit for one of the games. It was great to have some family to get to see him play. That's one of the big things I hate about not living near family. We haven't had any family that gets to come see him play sports. I feel bad for Julian because so many other kids always have tons of extended family at the games and it's always just chris and I. I know he was happy that she took the time to come here for him. It was very appreciated. She also let Chris and I have a night out to go to dinner alone. A very big plus to her visit, especially since our weekend to vegas alone didn't happen. It was nice to get some alone time. Our first class trip would have been great but we will take whatever we can get.

More news

Yes, he needs a little haircut in the back. I always hate that first haircut. Julian had a little pony in the back too before I cut it.
It starts off as a hug, but she's keeping an eye on me to see if she can do more.

She's a good picture taker, She loves to say cheese.

To follow the last post:

Babies still have colds. I think this is another one on top of the last because they had started to get better. This doesn't seem as bad though. They still have some congestion and a pretty bad cough. And of course the cough does make Lilly throw up what she eats. The story of my life I think.

This is where my story gets another "bump" in the road. This week the pediatrician that we saw this past weekend called me (never a good sign) to check on Lilly to see if she was improving. I said the thrush was better but still had cold symptoms. She said that she had been talking to the other doctor we saw on Saturday and they thought we might be missing a piece of the puzzle for Lilly since she had such a severe reaction after being on only 1 course of antibiotics. Her immune system should not have been that depressed to allow such a severe case of thrush. They thought when you put that together with her prematurity and her poor weight gain that it warranted a trip to an immunologist. So we have an appointment to another specialist. Chris and I have had such a long, stressful, and emotionally draining time since we were pregnant with the twins. We are soooo ready for things to turn the corner. We just dream of the day when she will eat and grow and be a healthy and strong toddler. I am praying that whatever we find is something simple and an easy fix. I do still believe we haven't pin pointed exactly what causes her not to want to eat, and when we do hopefully things will start to improve. I may have to turn into a mama bear on these doctors to get something done right and in a timely manner. I feel like I have been fighting with the people that should be helping us for a long time. I don't understand how a mother (who is an educated nurse practitioner) can take her child to a doctor and tell them how difficult things are and they minimize my situation. If I ever go back to work, it definitely teaches me to LISTEN to my patients. They always know best.

So,our appt is scheduled for November 10th with the new specialist. Before then we will also have their 18 month check-ups and a follow up with our GI. Hopefully, we will get some improvements and weight gain and some useful information.

I feel like my plate is very full and it takes a lot for me to feel overwhelmed. I pray that one day Lilly will look back at this and laugh at what stress she caused her parents.

Chris and I were also looking forward to a much needed getaway to Las Vegas for his cousins wedding. We really were looking forward to some time together and with his family for a fun family get together. Unfortunately, my mom's surgery got scheduled for the week of the trip so timing was not in our favor for this trip. ( The last time we were suppose to get away, I ended up in the emergency room with a stomach virus- thinking it's just not in the cards for us right now.) We hope that everything goes well for her and she starts to get some improvement in her symptoms. Chris and I will have to wait a little longer for our time together but maybe things will work out for us another time. We hate that we aren't going to be there with everyone. It's so rare that the entire family gets together. We just aren't able to leave our kids with anyone yet. Lilly is difficult to care for because she doesn't eat well, so we are limited right now with who can keep them.

Ups and downs

We've had quite a week here. Here's what happened:

Before I complain about my week I need to start with whatever happens with Lilly and Alex, I am extremely grateful to even get to go through this with them. Every step of the way they beat the odds to be here. From the infertility to being told to chose between which baby I wanted to "save". They are both here and I love every minute I have with them. That being said, we have had a rough week. With the ups, have come the downs, but I'm praying this is just a quick bump in the road.

Both babies had colds and subsequent ear infections from the drainage. So they both went on antibiotics for the ears. Usually, that's where the story ends, and everyone gets better and we move on. Not for me. Lilly had been on hers for about 9 days and we woke up Saturday and we were playing and I noticed that her tongue looked white. I grabbed a flash light and looked at the back of her throat and yep it had white patches on it too. Great! So I called the doctor and they told us to come in. I figured it was thrush, and I was right. I never had to deal with this before and glad I hadn't because it ended up terrible. The doctor said she had a pretty bad case of thrush in her mouth and a bad diaper rash caused by the same thing. She gave us some medicine for the mouth and bottom and we went home. I tried to get several doses of medicine in before the night to help but we had a terrible night anyway. I can't even describe how bad it was unless you were here. Lilly was in unbelievable amount of pain saturday night. She would just scream and scream. We took baths and were giving her tylenol and motrin, but with no relief. I called the doctor in the middle of the night and we took her back Sunday morning. We got another medicine and were hoping that it would do the trick. We had another trip to the pharmacy finally she was starting to get some relief. Not only with Lilly do we have to tackle what ever illness she has at the time, but we also battle with her eating. She always stops eating when she doesn't feel good, and this was for so long that we have some ground to make up.

I forgot to mention that this all happened after our visit to the GI doctor this past wednesday with a not so good appointment. Lilly only gained 1 lb in 5 months and the doctor wasn't very pleased. There wasn't much we could do with her meds, because she didn't gain any weight to allow us to increase the dosages. So we are going to try to work with the eating for a little bit longer before we have to decide what to do. ( I am praying that we don't get to the feeding tube talk) As long as she's developing as she should I think we can buy some more time. Just pray for her.

Alex also saw the GI doctor. (Not for his weight, my big 25 lb boy). He has a major problem with constipation. We decided that he holds his BM's because he is so afraid that it is going to hurt, thus getting more constipated and when he finally goes, he screams bloody mary. Our goal is to help keep everything very soft so he can be "trained" that it isn't going to hurt.

How can pooping and eating be such difficult tasks. Let me tell you they can be.

On the other hand. Julian is doing much better going to school. He is finally going without a fuss and coming home happy. We had open house at school this week also and got to go meet his teachers and see his classroom. My mom was in town helping while Chris was out of town, and Julian was so excited to show us everything. I love to see him happy and excited to go to school again. That is the Julian I know. He is also doing great in school. Most tests and graded papers i get home are 100's. He is still busy playing football tuesday, thursday's and sunday's and now we also signed up for cub scouts. We have had a busy week but it's good to stay busy.

Hopefully we will continue to have a uphill week.

Labor day

Both babies swing during the game.

Alex enjoying his swing time.
Cute boy.
Lilly hanging out watching Julian.





Julian had a great first week of school last week. He was having fun and coming home telling me about everything and seemed to really enjoy it. Then we had a 4 day weekend for Labor day and things have fallen apart. Tuesday morning we woke up and were getting ready to go to school and Julian is crying telling me he doesn't want to go to school. It was breaking my heart to watch my big boy so distraught about having to go to school. I just wanted to let him stay home but I knew we were going to have to just make him go because this is going to be what he does from now on. I think he is still adjusting to going to school all day, every day. (Kindergarten here was only half days, so he stayed home with me, went to school for a few hours and then returned to me.) He says he doesn't like school because it is too long and he misses me too much while he is there. He is my sweet, mama's boy. I have loved every minute we've been together and I think all the time we have been able to spend together has helped make him into the sweet, loving and smart boy he is. This is also so not like him. He has never had any problems going to school since his 2 yr old preschool (his first time away from me), and he loves to be social and be with his friends. He also doesn't have any problem leaving me to spend a couple days with his grandparents, or go to camp at the beach. I did dig a little deeper and also found out he is afraid of the "drills" they have to do at school, specifically the fire drill and the "lock down" drill (Julian calls this the bad person drill). I think it is terrible that we have to prepare our kids for what to do in case some crazy person enters the school and tries to hurt people. We never had to do that we were children and I think it is awful to make our kids learn about things like that so young. Julian is such an innocent child and the thought of something like that truly scares him. I think it makes him feel unsafe at school. I have tried to reassure him that these are just for practice and the school is very safe to go to. Hopefully, we will get better and he will start to feel more comfortable leaving me. He did ask me if I had ever heard of homeschooling, so he could stay with me. I said yes, but how did you. He is always very quick witted to respond to things. It was hard not to laugh as my child is crying and very upset. We'll have to see how today goes.

Friday, we decided to venture out again. (Being brave taking 3 small kids out). We went with some friends to Lancaster to go to a children's hand's on museum and a dairy farm. All the kids really enjoyed it. It was a little crazy having to keep up with the twins when they wanted to go in different directions, but we managed and I'm glad I took them out. We then got lunch and ate at the dairy farm and played on the playground. The kids were exhausted by the time we were done. Lilly fell asleep in the car within a few minutes. Things were going great until we were about 15 miles from my house. (we did go 1 1/2 hrs away). There was a bad wreak on the highway and both sides were shut down. I finally got turned back around, and tried to make my way home another way only for that highway to be stopped as well. Finally it took 4 hrs to make it home and everyone was well spent by the time we got home.

Saturday, we went to see Chris's boss and his wife that just moved to PA from CT. We had a wonderful dinner with them and the kids all had a lot of fun. It was nice getting out of the house to see some friendly faces. I miss being able to go out to dinner with my friends and enjoy some adult time.

Sunday, Julian has his football game and we all went. It was a beautiful fall day, and a great day to be outside. It's nice because the field is right beside the playground so the babies could swing and play while Julian was playing. Julian did great. He is really starting to catch on and enjoy himself. Chris loves watching him out there and I surprisingly do as well. I didn't think I would like him to play football, but it has been so much fun. Julian gets to play with his friends, and I get to have a chance to meet lots of people. I think it's good for Julian as well to get out and exercise and socialize with everyone.

Monday, was a catch up day from being so busy during the weekend. Chris and I got some stuff done around the house and had some good family time with the kids. It's nice having Chris home. Things just go so much smoother having another set of hands. The only downside is Sunday the babies came down with a cold. Runny noses, and sneezing and low grade fevers. I know they probably got it from the kid's museum. One day with touching other things that other kids have touched and we get colds. I can't imagine how many times they would get sick if I weren't so fortunate to stay home with them, and not put them in daycare. Alex, especially seems to pick up something from most public places like that. (he also got a cold from the church daycare the one time we took them). I did take them to the doctor yesterday and make sure neither had anything that needed to be treated like an ear infection, but nope just colds. Colds are bad, because their is nothing they will give kids to help with the runny noses, other than Tylenol. I like the old days where you could use medicine on kids. Nights have been rough. The past 3 nights, we've had both babies in the bed with Chris and I and occasionally Julian comes in. I do pray these are short lived. I hate it when Lilly doesn't feel good because she doesn't have an appetite and doesn't eat. Not what my little peanut needs. Hopefully all things will continue to improve this week.